Learning Emotional Intelligent

Salam,

What is emotional intelligence?

Being emotionally intelligent involves tuning into emotions, understanding them and taking appropriate action.

Your mind is like a garden, which can be cultivated or neglected, and you are its master gardener. You can cultivate this garden, or you can ignore it and let it develop whatever way it will. But make no mistake: you will reap the harvest of your work or neglect.

" Your mind creates your reality. You can choose to accept this or not. You can be conscious of it and have your mind working fo ryou, or you can ignore it and allow it to work in ways that will hinder and hold you back. But your mind will always and forever be creating your reality."
John Kehoe

Things I have learnt :

We can improve the way we deal with our emotions, but certain things such as temperament, conditioning and emotional baggage will influence this. Temperament cannot be changed, pretty much everything else can.

Values are those things that mean the most to us.

Different levels of communication:

* Level 1: Talking about things and events.

* Level 2: Talking about concerns, feelings and emotions.

* Level 3: Talking about purpose, vision, values, beliefs, fears, hopes and aspiration.

Emotional literacy is the ability to understand your own emotions, to listen to others and to empathise with their emotions, the ability to express emotions productively.

Elements of emotional intelligence:

The main elements of emotional intelligence are:

* To be aware of our own emotions

* To understand our emotions

* To express our emotions in a mutually beneficially way

* To control emotions

* To be aware of emotions in others

* To understand emotions in others

* To use emotions in dealing with and relating to our world.

My results for Gardner’s 7 intelligences show I have intrapersonal intelligence meaning I know myself quite well, I understand my own feelings, thoughts and intuition. My second and third intelligence areas were logical and spatial intelligence. I think it is quite accurate.

Emotional hijacking:

I also learnt about emotional hijacking and I think this is something that I have experienced a few times in my life, I think most of us has. When a person is in a stressful position for a long time (such as an abusive marriage), a specifically stressful event can cause us to revert back to our primitive brains and put us into a flight, fight or freeze mode. That is why it is VERY important to take time to think about decisions in these stressful situations instead of just acting impulsively.

Leadership style:

I have a coaching leadership style. I also am at the mutuality mode in the ladder of emotional intelligence and psychological maturity meaning I associate with others that confirm my identity and focus on similiarity and confirmity.

Areas I need to work on:

Things I need to work on: finding my goal in life, I need to improve my understanding of how I feel about some people and situations and reach my physical, emotional and mental peak.

According to the Goleman model I need to work on emotional self-control, self-confidence and resolving conflict.

Choices:

We are responsible for the choices we make in life. The kind of decisions and conclusions we arrive at reflect how we process the events of our life and affect our level of self-esteem.

Almost every minute of our conscious life we are engaged in self-talk. If the self-talk is accurate and in touch with reality, we function well. If not, we experience stress and emotional disturbance.

Belief systems:

Our belief systems are filters that determine our perceptions and decisions in life. They impact on our attitudes, goals and priorities. When we change our beliefs, we can change our behaviour. Always ask yourself… am I thinking using facts? Can I achieve my short and long-term goals with what I am thinking? Can I maintain and protect my life and health with what I am thinking? Can I avoid conflict with myself, others and the environment with what I am thinking? Can I feel what I want to feel with what I am thinking?

If conflict can be avoided, do so. If not, find ways of dealing with it in constructive manners.

Positive thinking:

We watched a video called “Miracle Man” about a man who was in a plane crash and was a “vegetable”. Doctors told him he had no chance of recovery and will spent the rest of his life in a wheelchair, unable to talk, eat or do anything. He walked out of the hospital 7 months after the accident. Everyone called him the miracle man. He refused to give up, he remained determined and steadfast and set goals for himself. His positive attitude kept him going. A positive attitude can help us achieve so much more in life.

Self-love:

Self-love is very important. We have to learn we are ok as we are. If you like yourself, change becomes easier. When you dislike yourself, change is difficult.

When we have in abundance, we can share it with others and get even more in this way.

"Love is the greatest of human values, a direct gift from God, the most powerful and potent life enhancing human energy, and possibly life’s only meaning. It, however, never dies a natural death. It dies from neglect and abandonment. It dies of blindness and indifference and of things being taken for granted."
Leo Buscaglia